You're my disco

To the guy I've been dating for the past two years (as of Sunday),

You're My Disco, baby.

One of my darkest secrets . . .

. . . is that when I come home from work, after I watch the previous evening's Daily Show and Colbert Report, I watch The View.





If you ask me about it in person, I will deny it.





But I had to say something, because today, Sherri Lewis (ok, I know that's not her real last name, but I can never remember her real last name) got into it with that dumb bitch Elisabeth Hasselhoff (ok, I also realize that is not her last name, but I like to imagine that her husband is the Hoff and not some football player).





So as I was watching them hiss and show their claws, I thought, "I would really just like to give that highstrung, uptight bitch a hit of ecstasy, hold her in my arms, stroke her hair, and extol the virtues of analingus to her."



Also, I would like to encourage the studio audience to begin booing Elisabeth.

In the year 2525

I'm too anxious about all this election crap. So in the meantime, please choose your favorite:

Visage v. Zager and Evans




See comments for my vote