I hope your parents' house was destroyed by Ike.
I hope you lost your new job now that investment banks are going tits up.
I hope your fat girlfriend annoys you one tenth the amount that you annoyed me.
You were never a friend, and if I had known that all it would have taken to get your fat ass to move out was throwing out your food, I would have done it sooner.
Later, dick.

The place doesn't stink as much.
The place is generally picked up.
It is significantly quieter.
Things are looking up.


Tennille said...

um, wow. i'm glad i've never made you THAT mad.....just a little mad. Well, you did forgive me for destroying your car, so this guy must have been a total dick.

Phil said...

Imagine if you had dumped it on his floor.

Thomas said...

uh, did you just exterminate a roommate?

jeremy said...

You actually met him, Tennille. He was the asshat from Texas that ragged on New York in the first two minutes of meeting him.
And since he was in the basement, he was essentially the reason that I never had people stay w/ us. So now we'll paint the basement, throw in a carpet remnant, and get that sofabed ready!

jeremy said...

He moved out in secrecy, Thomas, but boy am I glad he's gone!

Tennille said...

Oh yeah, he was a peach. And I'm calling Jet Blue right now.

Matt in San Francisco said...

I like the raw emotion of this entry. Well done. I feel better myself after reading it.