9.29.2005

Sorry about your face


Don't get it twisted, y'all! Ebony--who I never thought was attractive to begin with--got ousted last night on ANTM. Maybe if she had taken one good picture, she would have beaten plus-sized latina Diane. Best picture last night--Nicole. Runner-up--Nik. My money's still on Lisa for the win.
The best part of last night's show was watching it with two awesome 'mos, Bill (whose poor face is all stitched) and Cam (who is the abuser). Man-on-man domestic violence is hot!
So after the show, I schlep it all the way home to watch So You Think You Can Dance? only to begin texting Paul and finding out that his TiVOed version cut off at the half way point. So I get my ass back in my car and drive back to the hill, and I get to watch my other fave reality show with other rad peeps--word Paul, David, Jared, & Rachel!!! I can't freaking believe that Jamile is still in the running to becoming America's Next Top Dancer!! I mean, dude's ok (wikkid hella better than me), but he's no Nick or Blake. Poor, poor Blake--that's what you get for being Canadian, and like I told him last week, don't do the "chest reveal" drop trou to do the "package reveal" wearing a thong. Boys never listen to me, though. I still hope Melody and Nick win (although that Ashley is pretty damn good).
And finally, I need your help, dear readers. I've been driven crazy by Ted Casablanca and his Toothy Tile stories.
To get you up to speed, some young Hollywood actor is a homo who has been seen around town being all kissy face w/ boys (or, at least one boy in particular).
My hope was that it was Jake Gyllenhaal, but after Sept. 8th's column, wherein Ted claims the actor is from a state directly above Texas, my hopes, like my carrot-ginger soup, were dashed (the latter w/ salt).
Here's who its not:
Tobey Maguire, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx, Orlando Bloom, Vin Diesel, Sean William Scott, Adam Brody, Ryan Cabrera, Matt Damon, Michael Vartan, Elijah Wood, Ben Affleck, Hayden Christiansen, Chris Klein, Josh Hartnett, Josh Brolin, Will Smith, Wilmer Valderama, Tom Cruise, Tom Welling, Johnny Depp, Johhny Knoxville, Seth Green, Justin Timberlake, Christian Bale, Jared Leto, Julian McMahon, Val Kilmer, Josh Duhamel, Benjamin McKenzie, Josh Lucas
Please, someone help me piece together this puzzle--we know that he dated an "annoyingly perfect girl" before becoming infatuated with the pole. Read Ted's articles to see if you can figure it out. Thanks!

9 comments:

JR said...

Nick is good, but Jamile overcame juvenile arthritis. And he can do that diagnonal floaty moonwalk.

I think Nick is going to win though. Did you see who his Idol is though? Geez.

jeremy said...

arthritis, shmarthritis, his dancing is tired and he does the same moves. nick is so versatile and precise. i never thought i'd be hot for a dude who did the paso doble, but there it is. oh wait, that's a lie, paul mercurio in strictly ballroom.

Tennille said...

Matthew Mcconaghy - or however you spell it. Am I right?

jeremy said...

I don't think its Matthew--he's actually from Texas . . .

Tennille said...

ah, I didn't read it correctly. I'll continue to research.

Christian said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JR said...

Well, Nick did win. I agree he's a more versatile dancer.

I was rooting for Jamile because all the fans seemed to have a hate-on for the black people on that show. Besides, did you see Nick in the hip-hop routines? I don't care what that nutcase ballroom teacher says, he's totally stuck in jazz/ballet.

I'm going to get around to reading the poem :)

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