9.11.2006

Lady love

Image search for SapphoSo this weekend was OKDJ's first gig playing out. My trusty Sony laptop decided to not be so trusty and the screen on it decided to go kaput a few days prior. No big deal, I reasoned, there are still two more laptops. Unfortunately, neither had a cache of songs as deep as the Sony. So I spent Friday and Saturday morning frantically trying to find/buy tracks for the big commitment ceremony.
One of the brides requested that I have "Happy Together" by the Turtles. Check. As well as three covers of that same song. I was also requested to have something by Diana Ross and the Supremes. Check. Besides that, the list was up to me.
My selection ran the gamut--from Billie Holliday and Louis Armstrong singing Berlin's classic, "Cheek to Cheek" to Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel's "White Lines." I had just over four hours of music--but for some reason, only a fraction was played. Ah well. I tried my (almost) best.

So, onto the wedding.

Lynnie has been like a surrogate mother to me since moving to Seattle. [Hi Lynnie!!] Her daughter, Risa, and I were roommates in college. Since those days of traversing mountain passes to spend Thanksgiving in Seattle, Lynnie has always made sure I'm included in family functions--from Easters to birthdays, she has always made me feel welcome and a part of the family.
Lynnie herself was in a period of transition during much of the time I've known her. She was in the process of getting a divorce, and she was beginning to come to terms with her sexuality. Her first gay relationship, from my point of view, was unstable and demanded concessions that would strain any relationship. Still, I admired her chutzpah for living her life the way she saw fit.
I don't know how Lynnie met Joyce, but, as anyone who was at the wedding can attest, Joyce is the yin to Lynnie's yang. They complement each other well, and they are a testament to the fullness and scope of love.

I arrived to their house surprisingly on-time. The backyard was awash with lesbians. One of them was my landlady to whom I (re)introduced myself. She then told me that I could disregard the late-fee she had just mailed to our place (damn holiday!) which made me very happy. Both brides were convivial and well-dressed. I don't think I've ever seen Lynnie dressed in anything quite so feminine.
I tried to make small talk with some of the womenfolk and then distracted myself with setting up the music.
Shortly thereafter, Risa, her fiance Keith (who is a frequent commenter on this here blog), and her younger sister Nikki arrived--there were finally people with whom I felt comfortable conversing. We got a briefing about our champagne pouring responsibilities and the ceremony was soon underway.
Officiated by Rachel, Lynnie's eldest daughter, and Joyce's business partner, the ceremony was simple and sweet. They included the Jewish tradition of a
ketubah. Joyce and Lynnie exchanged vows which sent Nikki into the first of many sobbing fits.
I couldn't help but chuckle occasionally during the ceremony--Lynnie and Joyce live frightfully close to a shooting range and the sounds of people shooting their rifles and handguns often overpowered the voices of the celebrants. At the end, after the smashing of the symbolic wine glass, it was toast time.
I sure am glad that the Jews were well-represented. Two rabbis--count 'em, two--were present. Lynnie's brother, one of the two, arose and gave the first toast. He talked about the symbolism of the shattered wine glass--that even in times of joy, there is still pain and suffering and nothing can be truly perfect. Jesus bless the Jews. Its that sort of thinking that makes me think I might have some Heb flowing through my veins. Lechaim! All those Jews made me feel like I was hanging out with a bunch of rich Greeks.
Other's toasted but it was more based in the gentile tradition of, "Ohh, you two. Ohhh, love. Awww, so sweet."

When the ceremony was over, I started through the playlist. Unfortunately, I culled too broad a spectrum. Billie Holliday, The Supremes, The Ronettes, The Crystals, Laura Nyro, Labelle, Gladys Knight, Anne Murray, Barbra Streisand, Air Supply, Chicago, Atlantic Starr, Melissa Manchester, Debby Boone, and Leslie Gore were all summarily dismissed.
Instead, we ended up listening to the same 10 or so songs over and over. Mainly, "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang, "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder, "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire, "Hey Ya!" by Outkast, and once the lesbos wrested me away from the decks, it was non-stop "Hung Up" by Madonna, "Gloria" and "Self Control" by Laura Branigan, "Invincible" by Pat Benatar, and "The Warrior" by Scandal. Yeah.
So one of the more, um, shall we say, rural of the lesbians, asked me if I had "Hotel California" by the Eagles. Nope. Sorry. Then her friend approached me and asked if I had any techno. God, you don't know how much I would have loved to rock the party with something like
this, but something tells me that's not what she envisioned when she said techno. I, also, didn't have anything too dance-y on the hard drive. Ah well.

So I think the whole thing went really well. The best part of the night probably came when Risa and I began talking about her wedding in February. She and Keith want me to officiate--so I get ultilize my ordination. I am unbelievably honored and humbled that they want me to be in charge of such a large portion of their day. February is only five months away and something tells me that there will have to be quite a few planning days.
I'll let you in on more as the day approaches--at this point, I know that I'll be singing at least one song, and performing the actual marriage.

So all this marriage stuff got me to thinking--I haven't been in any sort of relationship for nearly three years (and that last one I only count so I don't have to say that I've been single for over six years). Being single, suits me, though. While I do feel the pressure from the heteronormative world to be in a relationship, I think I like myself better as a single person. Of course, I have no real basis for comparison. I do like the idea of two people with similar values and goals who have analagous sexual desire for one another joining forces like a superhero team and trying their best to live in a world that reflects their values and in which they can achieve their goals. All that sounds cool, or whatever.
I think a lot of my aversion to more actively seeking dates has to do with the fact that I view myself as a work in progress. Certainly, we all have aspects of our lives that need work, but I generally careen a bit more than your average joe. The highs and lows from a reckless youth (and slightly beyond the "youth" category) are still in the process of finding a median, and, until I find that balance in myself, I certainly wouldn't want to subject a perspective beau to those wild fluctuations--its bad enough that my friends have to deal with them.

Speaking of my misspent youth, Friday marked the end of a five year probation.
Driving under the influence cost me around $17,000 and five years of my life. The upside is that it is not on my record. Better news, I can apply for a passport again.

So, yeah, I guess that's all I have to say. Don't drink and drive.

Oh, and
Sean should have the latest Listening Party up sometime today.

3 comments:

Maggie said...

Sounds like a beautiful day. Congratulations to the extended family!

Bewareoftheblog said...

Wow, you NEVER hear "Celebration" or "September" played at weddings. EVER.

GayProf said...

I love Billie Holiday.

As a side note -- You know I adore you, but I have a really hard time reading this font color. Maybe it's because I am color blind -- I don't know -- But it's really hard.