Its the Fruit That Makes It Fruity

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their prayers, kind words, and lighting of candles. The doctors are not going to remove Matthew's neck, and this surely has something to do with your concern.
Now I've gotta take the time to talk about an interesting phenomenon. My boss today came into my office and with what appeared to be an apple. "Smell it," she said. So I did. It smelled like a grape Jolly Rancher. And eating it was no different.
Welcome, my friends, to the wonderful world of Grapple (pronounced with a long a). Not only is it a delicious treat, it also an abomination! It is the bastardized genetic off-spring of original sin and original drunkenness. These Grapples would make the perfect gift. Know someone grappling with a problem? Get them a bunch of Grapples. They're Grrraaappe!!
And how was my weekend, you ask?
Well, I did go see Felix. I took a car load of kids down to the show. Tom, Paul, Rachel, Rachel, Christopher, and a nice young fellow whose name eludes me. That's right, seven of us piled into the Milennia ghetto-fabulous style and schlepped it to Element.
I've gotta say I'm pretty disappointed with the club. We got there decidedly early so we wouldn't have to pay an additional $5 bucks cover, but guess what? The jack-ass club owners made us stand out front for twenty minutes--just so their stupid little club could look popular, and so they could get an extra 5 bones a head. So when we finally made it in? Empty. Pretty darn close to empty. It made me sick.
I ran into Eric and Gigi, and young man I've met a few times named Matt (no, not the one you were praying for). Everyone was pretty convivial and eventually, Felix came to the decks. I was pretty underwhelmed. It was like he read the article in the Stranger and did everything they said. Maybe he would have done more, but I bolted at about 1:20. What I did hear: Mash-up "Ride the White Horse"/"Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger," Blur "Boys Who Like Girls," "Silver Screen Shower Scene," Pink Floyd "The Wall," and as I was leaving, another Blur song. It was all arms waving and chanting along--in other words, annoying.
Ah well. I'm sure there'll be a good show soon.
[Editor's note: I apologize for the picture from last week, it literally was one of the first few that pulled up when I typed in "abscessed cyst". I apologize for any queasy stomachs.]