3.15.2005

why so down? you need a poop talk!

Even though I missed the KofC show this weekend, our amazing member supported radio station KEXP has their live performance from the Triple Door archived on-line. Some people were lucky enough to see them in person [ahem, Janice and Mike] in this venue, but even if you didn't, you have access to this recording and let me tell you, it is aces.
In other news . . .
Kelly and I had a wonderful discussion last night about poop. Her friend Claire had a colonic and she had all sorts of fascinating fun-facts about feces. Since our discussion, I have been lurking around in the murky waters of hydro-colonic cleansing via the inter-web, and have discovered many other fascinating facts. Did you know that, if you are of average weight, and are not very allergic to things, you are probably carrying around 10 - 25 pounds of dried poop in your colon! Can you imagine?
And that's just the poop that's lodged in your pooper. There are also parasites in your colon and intestinal track. In fact, one in three people have intestinal parasites. Yearly, parasites (intestinal, colonic, and others) kill more people than cancer! Cancer? That's hilarious.
Butt, you wonder, how can I take care of this imapcted, puterified poop and these villainous instestinal bugs? The answer, fortunately, is easy. Simply go to your nearest colon hydrotherapist, sit on their exclusively designed poop bed, insert a speculum into your rectum, turn on the warm water, and voila. All that crap just drains right out of you!
So I'm gonna get one. I'll report back to you guys after its all said and done. Maybe I'll take pcitures.
Now aren't you glad I'm back on-line?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hmmm, all useful information. don't you wish you were here for my Thursday festivities...regardless check this out

http://www.blackbookmag.com/site/issue/issue_headline.php?id_issue=90&headline_num=1

Anonymous said...

i have to say, the thought of losing 10-25 lbs of paristic fecal matter appeals to me...

shoshanna said...

I don't believe all that business about the compacted poop and the parasites! I think it is all to sell colonics!

The other night one of the local TV stations ran some PSA health story where the newscaster lady announced as "Colon cancer...the BOTTOM line."