Which Salt Grass do y'all go to?

I'm back safe and sound, and what a lovely trip it was.

I landed at DFW to a horizon smog filled horizon choked with water towers and telephone poles. Mom and dad met me at the airport and we went to Owens for lunch. Owens is sort of like a Denny's. Its more like a Bob Evans, if you know Bob Evans. Our waitress, Charlie, had the requisite raspy voice and nicotine stained teeth, and she delivered our food quickly and courteously. The restaurant is located in the parking lot of a strip mall just off of loop 820. When I lived in Texas, that strip mall had a Best Buy, dollar cinema, and furniture store. Those establishments have all left, and discount stores have taken their place. One boasted, "Pet Food, Cosmetics" on a cheap vinyl sign.

It so strange to go back to this place where these mega consumer corporations sprawl into the distance. Most of the strip malls have been abandoned and only the odd chirpractic clinic remains in them. As we appraoched the town in which I grew up, my parents were ecstatic to show me where their church used to be. It is now a Target. This was followed by a trip to see where their new church is. It is an ugly contemporary (read: disposable) building made of cheap materials which is cheapened even further by a ridiulously phallic lighthouse instead of a steeple. It is on forty acres of land surrounded by multiple developing housing developments.

Then it was off to my childhood home. Not much has changed. The stair four steps from the top still creaks. My bathroom's shower door still has hard water stains. There is still an overabundance of signage--things that read, "Life, Love, Laughter" or "Home is where the Heart Is" or some other country-fied down-home saying.

Mom fixed dinner and a neighbor joined us. This is when the titular, "Which Salt Grass do y'all go to?" was spoken. I think the dearth of culture in the midwest is depressing. Which Applebee's do you want to go to tonight? I don't want to go to Applebee's. Let's go to Chili's. Which Chili's do you want to go to? And all of these businesses only produce strip malls and water towers and telephone poles and more asphalt and it stretches out as far as the eye can see.

So after my mom got a little tipsy on white wine, we attempted conversation. My mom wants me to "find someone" and I confronted her about the gender neutral "someone". She says, however, that she means a man and that she is not hanging onto some hope that the "someone" will have a vagina. Then she tried to tell me about how gay culture is all about dominance and who has it or something, but I did get her to cede that she is not voting for Proposition 2. Yea. Now if only we could get the rest of Texas to take her side.

Saturday we drove to Oklahoma (which is very much like Texas with its sprawliness) and I got to see my two lovely nieces. I made Lauren very happy by bringing Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith. Then it was Sunday and I flew back to Seattle. Rainy, cold, homey Seattle.

So that's it.

And it looks like my dance card is pretty full this week.

Tonight - David Lynch - I'm so so so so excited about seeing him in person. Yippie!! I'll be sure to take pictures.

Tomorrow - Morgan Geist @ The Baltic Room

Wednesday - Styrofoam @ Chop Suey

Friday - Doc Martin @ Trinity

Yippie!!

And here's your news (or my version what makes news):

Joss Whedon is making a cameo on Veronica Mars Wednesday on UPN (after ANTM). Plus, here's a TVGuide interview where he talks about all of his Buffy cast's current roles.

An article on Tom Ford's new Estee Lauder make up line. [TimesOnline]

Magnolia Films which will distribute Steven Soderbergh's Bubble on Jan. 31st is also doing putting out Hal Hartley's "Fay Grim" starring Parker Posey and Jeff Goldblum. I know, I know, I swore off Hal Hartley after "The Girl from Monday" (or whatever that travesty was called) but I will never swear off Parker. [Article]

And, of course, Arrested Development returns tonight with an hour long episode. I hope I remember to tape it.